I am a facebook user and somewhat addicted to reading people's updates and all gazing at all the pictures people put up even if they are people I don't know very well. I have discovered lately that there is one thing I dislike about facebook......the "we're expecting" or "I'm pregnant" updates. While I am thouroughly thrilled that so many people are about to experience such happiness, I can help but feel a twinge of jealously towards them, especially if it's a person I feel isn't in a right place in their life to have one. This may sound cold hearted since how am I to know if having a baby is the right thing for them at this time in their life but as of right now I know nine people who are pregnant right now. My husband said this is to be expected because we're at that age where many people around us are getting married and pregnant and all that but he doesn't realize that statements like that don't really help when I'm somewhat upset at reading yet another "baby on the way" status update. It's just hard because N and I are both reasonably healthy young people in a good place in our lives both mentally and finacially to have a baby and there are so many people out there who just keep popping out kids even though they don't really want them or can't take care of them. I know this sounds somewhat like an emotionally charged rant and in some sense it is because I'm on these stupid hormones right now post surgery (3 more days of them thankfully) I just had to get this off my chest in cyberspace where only a few people I know will necessarily read it and anyone else that reads it may feel the same way.
Hey, I know the feeling. It's natural. I promise. When we were having problems I was mad at the world. We were healthy, we were ready, we were just as deserving (if not more so) than other people to have a baby. It made me INSANELY jealous to see young girls (and yes, I'll call them girls - some looked 12) walking around with 1 or 2 kids and another one on the way. How could they afford to have kids if they weren't old enough to have a job? Why do they get to have what I want?
ReplyDeleteIt's natural and it makes you feel like a mean person who doesn't know how to be happy for other people. But, when it does happen, you will appreciate and love every moment of it so much more than those girls. I'm not really that religious but I really came to believe that God only gives you things he thinks you can handle and for whatever reason, he chose us to have to go through all of this. And for whatever reason, he picked you. It's crummy and doesn't make it any easier but I promise you, you will get through it and you will have a son or daughter that will be the center of your world and all of your statuses will revolve around the excitement of your pregnancy. And you'll forget (because let me tell you, I did until I read your post) about how those same kind of updates caused you to cry yourself to sleep.
Be angry. Be jealous. Be whatever you need to be of people you don't know, but be supportive and happy for your friends. It's SO hard. I know. But, they aren't trying to hurt you. If anything, they probably are wishing more than you think for all of this to work out well (and quick!) for you but don't know how to express it. And, when it's your turn, you'll want to shout it all from the rooftops and share those amazing moments with your friends...all of them. So take it on the people you don't know and celebrate with your friends and look forward to them celebrating with you.
I hope this helps. And makes some sense. I'm signing Anonymous but you know who I am (I think). :)
Thank you anonymous, it's so nice to know that there are other people out there who know EXACTLY what I'm going through right now........I can't wait to look back on it while I'm holding my little one and thinking about how all the heartache was worth it in the end :)
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