Patience

Patience is NOT a virtue I possess, unfortunately in this process of trying to get pregnant while dealing with PCOS it's one I must learn to embrace. Right now I'm waiting for my period to show up in full force. As I said sometimes this blog would get a little "gross" and this will probably be one of those times. One of the fun and exciting things that comes with dealing with PCOS (read:really, really annoying) is the irregular periods. While I was on birth control I didn't have to worry because that just regulated my periods for me and it was great. Now that I've been off it and trying to get pregnant for just a few days over a year now it's become a HUGE pain in my butt. Because my cycles aren't regular I tend to get my hopes up just a little bit every time my period is "late", by which I mean a cycle over 28-30 days. Right now is one of those times. I read all about how people who are pregnant don't realize it at first because the have some spotting or "implantation bleeding" (there's question on whether this is even a real or frequent occurrence according to some) and so far this week I've had a little bit of spotting type of things when I wipe despite having all the normal signs of being pre-menstrual. Now comes the fun tricky part, the signs for being pregnant and the signs for an oncoming period are often THE SAME!!!!! How fair is that in me getting my hopes up....oh ya let's going with not at all. So the mild cramping and lower back pain along with the extreme crankiness and desire for comfort food and chocolate could mean I'm either actually pregnant on my own or my period is just taking it's sweet time getting here. Despite my desire to know one way or the other I have made a stand that I WILL NOT take a HPT (home pregnancy test) unless it's been several weeks past when I was suppose to get period. I have two solid reason for this: they're expensive and my heart breaks just a little bit every time I get a negative. I figured this time around, once again I'm going to wait it out and go to my screening appointment for the study as usual next week and hope that they are able to do all the tests I need despite not having started my period when expected. I'll update this for sure after that appointment and perhaps when I have news one way or another. For now I just sit with my lower back ache and hoping that I can avoid eating my weight in chocolate.